Ryan Seacrest Must Be Stopped!

Just look at that smug asshole...So I'm back after a little holiday break with friends and family. Ok so I was really just playing Skyrim until my thumbs bleed. Don't judge me! You have no idea how engrossing foraging for berries, chopping wood, and working in a blacksmith's shop can be. But I'm back now and I have something to get off my chest:

RYAN SEACREST IS A CUNT!

Seriously, how is this guy allowed to continue living on this Earth using up valuable resources? What does this creep even do? He's not an actor. He has no creative or musical talent. He brings absolutely nothing to the table whatsoever. But famous attention whores everywhere seem to love him, which is even more irritating. There are the same vapid wastes of skin that get their labia in a twist if wear fur or drink a coffee that isn't certified fair trade or when you make a joke about kicking a puggle. (But then again who wouldn't? Puggles are adorable!) But meanwhile, every New Years Eve, this dimple-faced jerkoff can drag out Dick Clark's dessicated corpse like he's doing a remake of Weekend at Bernie's and nobody says a fucking word! We all know that Dick Clark died six years ago, and I'm sick and tired of Captain Stubbleface desecrating his dead body just so he can parade a string of one hit wonders in front of a tv camera in Times Square. He should be tried in front of the Hague for crimes against humanity, not getting paid exorbitant amounts of money. Dick Clark brought us American Bandstand for Jeebus' sake. Let the man rest in peace!

Pictured: Ryan Seacrest with his hand up the ass of poor puppet-corpse Dick Clark